“I need to be fixed,” my client said. “There’s something wrong with me. I’m broken.”
I’ve heard these words before and they’re false. There’s nothing true about them.
This is a classic story our minds tell ourselves when we’re suffering distress, lost in the jungle of hopelessness and helplessness. This is a story that must not be served, ever.
If you are broken, we’re all broken. And we probably are. That’s the human condition.
Many a person has emerged from therapy – after mustering their courage and undertaking the work – with a fresh understanding that if they were broken, now they are forged anew.
Breaking, repairing, and coming back stronger is a basic mechanism of our physiology and the mind is no different.
But beware telling yourself the story of your brokenness again and again. You’re effectively programming yourself with this belief, and however deeply it might run, it’s not in the slightest bit helpful, it’s certainly not showing any kindness and compassion to yourself, and it’s absolutely definitely not in your own best interest.
Core work can be done to really evict that harmful tenant from the heart of your psyche. But in everyday seeking of relief from mental health challenges, developing a helpful program simply to stop yourself going to that thought again and again is one of the best ways you can serve yourself in your mental health journey.
And as far as needing to be “fixed”? I’d reframe that. There’s nothing wrong with getting help. You do it every time your motor vehicle has troubles. Let go of that story too. Getting help is not the same as “getting fixed”. And when we focus on the idea of needing to be fixed, we’re focused on a largely imaginary outcome that ignores the steps to wellness we’re able to get through a dedicated course of psychotherapy and associated supports.